Tuesday, March 2, 2010

50 Year Old Roommate

So an update on my never ending search for a roommate. I mentioned in my previous post, I put myself on Cragis List to see what would come of that. As it turns out there are a lot of weirdo's out there! But I have come across a few normal one's too, so there's still hope.

I would like to share a few of the emails I've received inquiring about my roommate search. PLEASE read to the end. I promise you will not be sorry.

1. "I have 1 other roomie, age 45, quite & tame that works at Raytheon.  Both of us quiet, respectul and straight.  I see you are searching for a female roomie. We are 2 older guys, Bob in his 40's & I in my 50's.  We're both tame and respectful.  You would be safe here. You can meet us and decide.

I have wireless internet.  The house is nice, about a 15 year old home.  It is a 3 BR, 2 bath house.  You would share the hall bathroom.  It is sort of in the Country in New Hope, near Princeton, in East McKinney.

It is on 1.5 acres with tall trees.  I am doing some fix-up, but the grounds are beautiful. I rent the home from good friends of mine that moved 3 years ago.

I am a CPA and I work a lot, so I'm usually only here late nights to sleep and some on weekends.

Me, I am a young 57 year old CPA, conservative & Christian. I love golf and cook for fun.  I do not smoke.  Smoking is allowed outside only. I occassionally/socially like red wine and sometimes a scotch late at night, but I am not a heavy drinker.  I am the easiest person in the world to get along with.  Heck, I'm hardly ever here."



Alright, where to start...first of all, if you have to tell me that I'm going to be "safe", is this really a good sign? And secondly, what normal 25 year-old woman is going to feel comfortable let alone safe living in a house with two strange 50ish year-old men. And I would also like to point out that I will be sharing a bathroom with them. Awesome, my dreams have come true!


Okay, on to even better one's...


2. I won't post all of this one because it's pretty generic. But let me just say, that when I asked if they were a female, they went on to inform me that they were NOT a female but a man/woman. Now, no disrespect to anyone out there who's decided this is the best life for them. But I just don't understand what a man/woman is. Sorry. 


And to top all of these off I will leave you with my most recent encounter.


3. "We have a new home in a gated community and are looking for a female live in housekeeper in exchange for free rent and utilities. It is 3400 sf single story and you will have private bedroom w/kingsize bed, private bathroom, satellite tv, phone and internet. We are a white married couple and this is a clothing optional environment, so you need to be comfortable with nudity occurring at times. Ideally you would be comfortable in this environment as well. Cleaning is part time and no daily duties like dishes, cooking, or laundry. Just clean the house, floors, dusting, counters, windows, etc. Sorry we cannot accept any pets, we have 2 small dogs already and do not want the stress or liability for other pets. 

If you think you would be comfortable in this environment we will set up a meeting at the house so you can see what would be expected and see if everything works out for everyone. Send a picture if you like and ask any questions you might have so we can see if the situation would be compatible."



I'm sorry sir, I think what you meant to say was you were looking for a threesome. You may want to check the "casual encounters" section under personals.



5 comments:

Ryan said...

At least that first guy let you know they are straight. Wouldn't want to accidently walk in on tame and respectful gay relations.

Is that last couple only accepting applications from females? I mean not for me, don't be ridiculous...

but seriously, are they?

Ryan said...

Saw this and totally thought of your post:

http://consumerist.com/2010/02/the-greatest-craigslist-room-rental-ad-ever.html?utm_source=The+Daily+Bunch+%28Alpha%29&utm_campaign=cbb907d882-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email

That last one in your entry gets more absurd the more it's read.

I love the line "Ideally you would be comfortable in this environment as well."

"Ideally"

You know, since we'll be naked from time to time. But hey, if not, we can work on it. We're in this together. We're a team.

And you should send them a picture. Of a naked, fat, hairy man.

Good luck with the Google search on that one.

Colette said...

This post definitely made my week! I have shared it with many people. I miss you!!! Love you sister!!!!

Brittany said...

LOL. That was a pretty interesting post Ryan...I'm not sure where you find people like this, but it does frighten me a little that they live right here in Mckinney.

I'm glad my post made you smile Letty :) I've also told everyone. It's just too funny not to share! Love you!!

Meg said...

BAJHAHAHAHAA That last email is HILARIOUS